alright, so it's already less than 12 days left 'till christmas, but i don't care! so here are theodd1sout' 12 days of christmas new thing... on a budget. now, in the song "12 days of christmas", itsays that every day you get your true love something new plus everything you got them the daybefore. now, if we're doing this on a
budget then don't do that - just get them one newthing every day, like, you get them five golden rings every day for the nexteight days... that's 40 rings! no one even has thatmany fingers! so, let's start day 1. no one wants a partridge. pear trees, i mean, i can see that //working out// - i freaking lovepears, but if we're going on a budget here then get your true love... a stray cat ina normal tree. it can be a pear tree, but i think thecat will choose whatever tree is closest.
that costs no money - that present is free.we're doing good with our wallets. day 2 - two turtle doves... no one even knows what a turtle dove is! turtle dove... that sounds like something out of avatar, like, you know how theywould have mixed animals? so let's just use our imagination - what if instead we just get turtles and tape wings to them. how much for turtles? hmm... let's use our imagination again andget another aquatic animal - goldfish from petsmart. they can't be that expensive- happy holidays and thank you for calling petsmart! for the fish, bird, small animal and reptile
information press "3". *presses 3* aehh *fails miserably* *calls again* thanks for calling, this is nikki speaking. uh, hi, i was wondering, do you guys have goldfish? - we do! - how much are they? - uh, it varies on what kind of goldfish are you talking about. um, just, like, feeder fish. - (we did) so, our big ones are 29 cents; our smaller ones are 14 cents and then we have the rosey-reds, which are 14 cents. - oh, alright, thank you! - no problem, have a good day! you too! thanks, nikki. day 3: three french hens. why not american hens? you know, keep it local. and they would make eggs, so you'd get free eggs!
believe it or not, people actually havechickens as pets... for getting free eggs. i remember that the house that wasbehind and diagonal to me actually had pet chickens. //aw, look at how adorable it is!// so this one is actually the most useful gift, probably, i dunno... it might cost a little, but hey! free eggs for life! ...oruntil the chicken dies. :( day 4: what's with all these birds?! does your true love really want a pet bird that badly? ok. get them four... pigeons! you know, the song never specified what type of bird are the colly/cooly birds. after doing some extensive research... on yahoo answers...
i found that the song was originallysupposed to be "four colly(cooly?) birds". what the freak are those?! just get your true love pigeons, i mean, pigeons are probably just as cool as colly/cooly birds. i mean, listen to these pigeon calls! yeaaaah. day 5: this is easy. get them ring pops. i honestly would prefer ring pops over... solid gold. day 6: well, you don't really need six geese of laying. you already have three chickens, so just skip this one. or you can just give them six eggs that your three chickens have already produced by now.
day 7: seven swans of swimming. you don't want swans, no, no, no, no. get them ducks! rubber ducks! they want rubber ducks... or rubber swans, even better! ...but we're going for budget here, so... rubber ducks. day 8: instead of eight maids of milking, get eight... migrant workers. mmmm! we got it! day 9: nine ladies dancing. dancing is already free. just pay 15 dollars to get into a trashy night club before 10:00 and i guarantee you'll find nine ladies dancing.man, you got your girl all these presents, you are just the king of romance!day 10: ten lords of leaping, huh? you know what lords have sometimes been knownto turn into? - frogs. and you know what
frogs are known for? - leaping. so, just get your love 10 frogs and, depending where you live, frogs are free! but really, theonly place i can think of where frogs are expensive is france. day 11: eleven pipers piping. well, that's going to get downgraded //he means upgraded// into a... and lastly, day 12: twelve pugs. this one's for personal reasons. on the twelfth day of christmas, my true love gave to me 12 pugs, 11 *amazing turned noun*, 10 frogs, 9 ladies dancing, 8 mexicans, 7 rubber duckies, 6...
5 ring pops, 4 pigeons, 3 americanhens, 2 goldfish and a cat in a... normal, normal tree. jeez, that was awful.